Exorcism

Mamaw at work (AI image generated by Joe Neuhaus)

The further adventures of Joby, Joe Neuhaus’s childhood self.

As Joby trudged home from Grade 2, his mind ruminated on the three boys who cornered him at school. They had an intimidating blend of strength and aggression, and they seemed to take great pleasure in threatening to beat him up. They told Joby that he wasn’t allowed to walk to school on Young Street, and if he did, they’d beat him up. As far as Joby was concerned, there was no other way to walk to school.

Scared and unsure of what to do, Joby quickened his pace and scanned the neighborhood for any signs of his tormentors. When he finally reached the safety of Mamaw’s house, he was greeted by the familiar sight of Papaw sitting on the front porch in his rocking chair with a hand-rolled Prince Albert cigarette dangling from his lips.

“You best be quiet. Mamaw is seein’ to that girl in the back room,” said Papaw.

His curiosity piqued, Joby decided to investigate since that room in the back was his bedroom. As he tip-toed through the house he heard the dull murmurs of Mamaw speaking in tongues. His bedroom door was closed, so he went to the back yard where he thought he could get a good look at what was going on through his bedroom window.

Uncle Bob was sitting on the back porch smoking his own hand-rolled cigarette and taking sips from a bottle of Thunderbird, wrapped in a brown paper bag that he kept hidden under the stairs.

“Three boys at school said they were gonna beat me up tomorrow,” Joby said, facing his uncle to make sure he had his full attention, which wasn’t easy to do. His eyes teared up as he poured his heart out describing in great detail the size and strength of the boys who had threatened him.

Uncle Bob puffed on his cigarette and sipped his wine, his expression a mixture of concern but mostly annoyance. Finally, he spoke with confidence.

“Look here, this is what you do. First, find the tallest, meanest, strongest one in the bunch and you hit him square in the nose as hard as you can. Don’t be afraid – just make a fist and hit him right in the nose, as hard as you can.”

Before Joby could process Uncle Bob’s advice, they were interrupted by the sound of Mamaw’s preacher voice rising up from the back room, so Joby ran back into the house, crept up to his bedroom door, which now smelled of Hexol cleaner, and pressed his ear to it.

“Get behind me Satan!” he heard his grandmother yell. “I am not afraid of you! Lord, help me to deliver this girl into your arms. Say it with me child – God, spread your light upon me and deliver me from evil. Get behind me Satan, I walk with God!”

He heard the girl begin to cry, but Mamaw kept preaching with the passion and conviction he’d seen her display on Sundays at church,

“I can see him, I can see that slimy Devil,” Mamaw exclaimed. “Now go on and get – this child walks with the Lord!”

Joby’s imagination ran wild as he listened to Mamaw’s words through the door – he began to envision what Mamaw was seeing – a green blob slithering out of his bed, across the floor, and climbing up the wall to get out by the rear window, which Mamaw always kept open.

Excited by the prospect of seeing it, Joby rushed into the backyard, his eyes fixed on his bedroom window, waiting to see if he could catch a glimpse of the Devil as it exited the house.

“What in tarnation has got into you, boy?” asked Uncle Bob.

“Satan is coming out my window!” Joby said with great anticipation.

Uncle Bob shook his head, “Boy, you got spuds between your ears. Ain’t nothin’ coming out the back of the house but that poor girl’s cryin’.”

Mamaw’s voice grew louder and more intense, and the girl’s sobs grew louder too, and soon she was chanting, “I walk with God!”

But Joby kept watching the window – he wanted to see what Satan looked like. Was Satan the green blob he imagined, or was he red with horns, or did he look like something else altogether, like those three boys from school?

The next day, on his way down Young Street, Joby found them waiting for him and blocked his path. The biggest one was in the middle, so Joby moved over to stand in right in front of him.

Trembling with fear, Joby locked eyes with the biggest boy, and screamed, “My uncle told me to hit you in the nose if you don’t let me go to school.”

Surprised, the boys took a step back and started laughing. The big one said, pointing to Joby’s crotch, “Don’t piss your pants, chicken boy!”

The boys ran off, laughing, and Joby looked down and saw that he had, in fact, pissed his pants.

Joby learned two things in two days. First, only Mamaw could see the Devil. He was invisible to others. Second, sometimes you don’t have to fight, you just have to threaten to fight.